


I'll never let you go

by p_ogman



Series: Sleepy Bois Inc Fics (Dream SMP + Origins SMP) [6]
Category: Origins SMP - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jschlatt is Toby Smith | Tubbo's Parent, Missing Persons, Parental Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson Adopts Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Recovery, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Unethical Experimentation, well everyone does-
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29485593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p_ogman/pseuds/p_ogman
Summary: After circumstances left Phil and his family scrambling for safety, he made a new home where they could be themselves in safety. In the midst of it all his eldest son went missing, but Phil still holds out hope he will find him once again.(Origins SMP fic :))
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Sleepy Bois Inc Fics (Dream SMP + Origins SMP) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094897
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	I'll never let you go

**Author's Note:**

> Origins SMP my beloved...It barely started and I'm already making a fic lmao- Thanks to ultrasexhaver (I DIDNT CHOOSE HER NAME) on twitter as always for coming up with this idea/scenerio with me seriously she is amazing and a huge reason why I even write! 
> 
> Be mindful of tags this fic is gonna be very bittersweet

Rays of the sun shining through the window make Phil smile as he moves about the kitchen. He had just woken up a few hours ago, but the sleep had already left his eyes and limbs, and breakfast was to be made. He hums a bit as he continues chopping apples. Tommy liked apple sauce in the mornings. It was easy enough to make, and the kids would like it when he’d put a pinch of cinnamon on top. If Tubbo was coming over he’d make sure to make a heartier meal for the boy since his body required more nutrients, but Tommy informed him last night that he wouldn’t be seeing the boy until later that afternoon. Him and his father were going to make new fragrances in the morning he said.

When he’s done with the morning ritual of peeling, and cutting, and smashing; he distributes the food into bowls and calls his sons downstairs. He’d watch them file down, sleep still in their eyes that they barely rub away. He tells them each good morning and they each offer one back despite them mostly being mumbles pushed out through yawns. 

The sight of his family together would make his heart warm and for a moment a smile would grow on his face. It would only take a minute for pressing thoughts to push from the back of his mind and close the curtains again. It only took a minute for the familiar dread to wash through him and blanket his whole being. He would force the smile back on better days and ask his boys at the table how they slept. Anything to make their days better.

What else can a father do when his oldest son is missing?

Thankfully he has become used to the process of burying the worrying deep inside himself. He didn’t bother to try and erase the worry or will it to go away. He refused to. Although it’s been years since he last saw his son in the midst of the chaos, he still clung onto a hope that he was alive and waiting for him. It was why he still made baked potatoes on friday nights, and kept five chairs at the table. It could easily be mistaken for a chair for when guests visit, but he knows, and he’s sure his sons understand too.

He knows his sons miss their brother too. It shows in the way they each take to making their own wooden swords that they brandish and wave about. It shows in the way they say their “hello’s” in a funny accent that is reminiscent of one they once knew. In the way they would tell it directly to their father or each other.

“I miss Techno, dad..”

It was usually said in a mumbled whisper as he tucked them in before bed, barely to be heard. Philza heard it though. 

“Me too.”, He would whisper back as he smoothed out their hair and finished tucking them in.

He wouldn’t let any tears fall until he shut the door closed gently behind him in the quiet darkness of the hallway.

It was morning now though. He knew he’d have to get his work done early if he wanted time to go take a trip to the nether later.

“Help me wash Tommy? It’s your turn.”, Phil said when he looks across the table and saw everyone finished with their bowls. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the way Tommy huffed predictably and rolled his eyes.

“Really? I could have sworn it was WIlbur’s.”, Tommy grumbles and without fail Wilbur jumps in.

“No, I helped dad wash breakfast and dinner yesterday actually. So there.”, Wilbur said as he crossed his arms. 

“Come on, it’s not that bad today.”, Phil says with a laugh and Tommy still mumbles something or other but helps his father pick up the bowls and spoons and take them to the sink. Phil hands him each washed dish, and Tommy dries them off with a towel before placing them in their respectful places in the cabinets.

“What’s the plan for today?”, Phil asked over the rushing water. Tommy shrugs.

“Me and Tubbo are just going to do some awesome shit. I think I’ll try practicing my flying again.”, Tommy says with a smile as he looks over at Phil. Phil notices the boy’s feathers are uneven and makes a mental note to help him preen later. He forces a smile at the mention of flying.

“Just be careful. I know you do well with gliding but..”, Phil trails off. It was a sour subject for a boy. He had beautiful feathers of whites and reds, but they were quite small. Even though the boy was already taller than Phil himself, his wings stayed the same size for the most part. They weren’t wings for flying, and they definitely couldn’ support his weight much unlike Phil’s wings that rested behind him. 

“I’ll be fine dad-”, Tommy waves off. “Soon we’ll both be flying in the skies yeah?”

“Right..”, Phil says with a slight laugh. He finishes washing the last dish and is relieved. “I have to go tend to the farm, but just tell me when Tubbo is over-”

“Yeah yeah, I will.”, Tommy says as he dries his hands against his pants and runs off.

Phil sighs. His boys were growing up so fast. He adjusts his hat before he goes outside, the warm rays of the sun shining down onto him. He looks over to Wilbur sitting out in the grass on instinct and sees the phantom has the large umbrella Phil made him blocking the sun’s rays from reaching him. Good.

“Hey Phil, is it ok if me and Wilbur go visit Niki later?”, Ranboo asks. He already has a watering can of his own in his hand and Phil nods.

“Of course- Actually I have some things you can take with for her.”, Phil says.

He had made sure to build their high up house close to the lagoon the mermaid resided in after all for this reason. When they had made their way to this place, he had seen how close Wilbur was to the girl. They were good friends, and soon the rest of the family got to know how kind she was too and grew to love her. He would always worry about them being too far away from the house, but he had made sure the lagoon was well hidden and safe from view from any outsiders a long time ago.

“Ok.”, Ranboo says with a smile as the two begin to work. Ranboo couldn’t help much with the dishes and cleaning the house due to his weakness against water touching his skin, but he made do well with the thick gloves on his hands as he watered the crops with the watering can up high so none of the liquid could touch him. 

“I’ll be out later, so make sure not to go far from Niki’s or the house. Maybe you can take Tommy and Tubbo with?”, Phil asks.

“I’ll ask them. So you're going out..”, Ranboo says the last part as he looks over at Phil. “Just uh..Make sure not to come home too late?”

“I won’t.”, Phil says with a tight smile but even he’s uncertain of that. “I’ll have dinner ready early anyways mate.”

The way Ranboo hums in response to the question voices well enough how it wasn’t dinner the Enderman hybrid was worried about. He brushes it off and puts himself into his work again. They had to keep a large farm of vegetables and fruits in order to feed all of them. Tommy especially. Since the young boy’s digestive system couldn’t handle meat, Phil had to be creative in making meals he could eat with what they grew. 

He didn’t mind any of it though. It was something he was used to even before they moved here. They didn’t have Ranboo with them before, but Phil as well as the rest of the boys embraced the new addition to their family well. Niki and Jack were also practically family, as well as Tubbo and his father. Sometimes he wonders if all of it was meant to be. The unlikely group of outsiders wouldn’t have met otherwise if it all didn’t happen..

Such thoughts leave a bitter taste in his mouth though. Reminds him of cramped, dark, and cold places where his wings ached and everything was uncertain. He shakes his head and spreads his wings a bit without thinking. He swallows. It wasn’t good to return to such places.

“Looks like we got it all done today, thanks mate.”, Phil says and Ranboo smiles with a nod.

“Of course-", Ranboo says honestly with a smile. Phil watches him fondly as he takes off his gloves and goes to clean up. He was a good kid, and Phil was more than happy to have him over. He wonders if Techno would get along with him.

It takes the excited yelling of his youngest son to make the man even realize he was going to such thoughts. He looks and waves as he sees the familiar figure of the Father use his multiple limbs to climb up onto the land, his son waving with one hand at Tommy and his other clinging to his dad.

"Hey there Phil.", The man says as he sets his son down safely onto the ground and the winged man walks over to him. "Tubbs told you I was dropping him off right?"

"Yeah mate, it's no problem with me-", Phil says in all honesty. He looks over at Tommy already happily talking to the boy. They were peas in a pod.

"Good- I have some new fragrances I wanted to cook up. Say, I have a few prototypes right now-", Schlatt says. Like an alarm bell was said, all of his kids seem to gather just a little closer to the two and Phil almost groans.

When the two had first really talked after they had settled down, Phil had feared he'd never be able to get along with the man. He respected the man's love for scents, but respect from afar and participation were very different things. It was even worse when the man had asked Phil to smell an object for him.

"Here- Smell this glass and tell me I'm wrong, I dare you-", Schlatt had said at the time. He had handed the man something, but for the life of him Phil couldn't see what it was. He was sure Schlatt must have put invis potion on whatever object was handed to him, but the man was very adamant that was not the case.

"Just smell the glass Phil!", The man had finally said in frustration. He remembers in the midst of his confusion and slight fear at the persistent man that his children were laughing in the background. Those little shits.

And here they were again, a new scent to be tried handed to him. Suddenly all eyes were on him and he tried his best not to look embarrassed by the action as he took a sniff. It smelled like Earth, and warm kitchens, and Friday nights after all the chores were done. It smelled like fresh potatoes.

"Like it? Got one coming for each vegetable!", Schlatt says proudly. Tubbo nods along with his words and stands next to his dad. He vaguely hears the amused laughs from his children in the background dying out. He remembers to smile, and hands the vial back.

"It's good mate.", He says back. His mind is still stuck on the scent. 

"Thanks! I'm going to get working on the rest. Make sure you listen to Mr. Minecraft Tubbo- Don't run off far-", Schlatt says as he ruffles the Shulker hybrid's hair. Tubbo grins and nods.

Phil watches the man climb back down and looks out at the sky in thought.

"Everything ok dad?..", Wilbur asks from beneath the shade of his umbrella.

"Everything's fine. Tell Niki I said hi alright?", He says.

"Sure.", Wilbur says. He looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn't.

* * *

He'll never get used to the heat the Nether offered. It was blanketing and thick, and if he stayed for long he would find himself wondering if he would suffocate from it all. His body was made for the cool temperatures the End brought. The heat bursting from the lava pools made the feathers of his back stick a bit more and his body feel like it might melt, but he didn't dwell on it too much.

He had a basket in his hand. He always did on these visits here. He would weave the object with long grass nights before his visits when night terrors kept him from a peaceful sleep. He'd fill the baskets with woven blankets and clothes, and food that wouldn't go bad quickly. He holds the object in his hand as he makes his way over to the lava pool closest to the portal.

"Hell there mate-", Phil says as he waves to the figure swimming in the pool. The man grins and leaps up from the body of rolling oranges and red.

"Philza Minecarft- How're you doing?", Jack asks. Philza nods.

"Everyone's doing ok- They're all still determined to bring Niki here.", Phil says and laughs a bit. 

"Well as long as they don't kill her that would be alright with me-", Jack said. His smile drops a bit. "I'm sorry to say but...I haven't seen him."

"That's alright..I'll be around looking.", Phil says with a tight smile. He appreciated the boy was trying his best to help him. He fishes a piece of candy from his pocket and hands it to the boy. "Here- Made these the other day."

"Oh- Thanks!", Jack says as he quickly pops the piece of candy in his mouth. Phil waves to the boy as he walks away. He sighs. 

He'd usually start by looking around the portal. Any hope that the Piglin hybrid found his way back to it always made him check the area despite doing so many times over. He took to the skies, careful to not let any of the contents of the basket spill out as he took to the skies.

Maybe it was a grim start to search around the portal to be met with no sight or clue of the man but he still pushed on. After that he'd take to looking in further spots. He'd soar over mountains of netherrack and dip under and fly through crevices. He remembers the spot where he placed the last basket he brought and sees it absent. He tries not to feel the flutter of raw hope in his chest at the discovery. There have been plenty of missing baskets he had placed, and Phil was starting to believe that wandering Pigmen were the ones who got their hands on them. He sighs and keeps going.

He flies and eyes the grounds of the land until he believes the air wavering slightly from the heat is playing tricks on him. He's not sure how long he had flew, or if he upheld his promise of returning home before nightfall, but he let the familiar disappointment finally settle down in him. His wings are stiff from the heat and he feels his face grow red from how overheated be felt. It was time to go back.

He lands to the ground, and sets the basket down. He carefully opens the lid and pulls the letter he had pre written out and places it neatly on top. He doesn't read the words again. He had cried and cried when he wrote just as he did each letter before that. With one last glance around, he takes to the skies and returns to the portal. He lets a few tears slip as he watches the liquid purple tint reveal a night's sky.

He wipes the tears with the back of his sleeve and takes a minute to cool down on the chill air before he lets his wings spread and he flies back home.

His kids are all still up, in the midst of eating the dinner he had pre-made and left for them to heat up before he left. They all look at him as he enters, a solemn atmosphere grows at the obvious absence. 

"Did you guys manage to heat it up well?", Phil asks to try and lighten it. Luckily it works.

"Of course- We're not completely helpless dad-"

"Well actually, Tommy tried serving us cold soup he barely even heated-", Wilbur pipes up which causes said boy to scoff offhandedly. 

A bickering match plays out with Ranboo both trying to break it up and finding amusement from it. Phil smiles a bit.

* * *

He waits until night after all of his children are in their beds before he goes to his room. He shuts the door behind him and runs a hand through his long hair. He can't help but notice it was finally back to its original length. 

He shakes his head and goes to his desk and overlooks the drawn map of the Nether laid out. He had used the ink to draw landmarks of the other world, and he uses them to make notes about his findings of the day. Or the lack of ones he should say.

He used to do drawing as a hobby. He loved to take black inks and draw out fantastical ideas that sprung up in his mind, some images coming from dreams. Sometimes he'd draw his boys too. He doesn't take to drawing as much anymore. He finds he has little of those vivid images of wonder in his head, just as he has failed to have a good dream in years. 

He takes his time to go to sleep, ears trying to listen out in case a scream was heard through the walls which would prompt him to go comfort someone from their nightmares. He prays to the gods he doesn't scream again in his sleep himself. He closes his eyes and let's the exhaustion from spending so much time dying in the Nether pull him into sleep.

* * *

He wakes up to pitch black and has to blink a couple of times for the reality to process through him. His whole body trembles and a whimper leaves his mouth before he can choke it down. He tries to spread his wings and almost sobs when they hit the wall, unable to spread. He puts a hand over his mouth to quiet his crying, the sound of the clanking shackles on his hands ringing loudly in his ears.

He wanted to see his children. He needed to make sure they were alright. He needed it more than he needed to spread his wings or fly. But he knew how things went here by now. He had screamed and shouted until his face turned blue before but that would lead to them binding his wings and putting so many drugs into him that he couldn't see clearly. They said he would never be allowed to see them again if he didn't cooperate.

He didn't believe them at first. Why should he? They had tore his family away from him in the midst of the night and burned the home they had to the ground. They chained them up and prodded at them like animals. He tried so many times to escape and each attempt left him with bloody noses and bruises and more drugs.

He didn't want to be here. He had escaped, him and his children had escaped with the others they kept at this hell, so why was he here? Why was he-

He sobs. Sobs that rack through his body and make his lungs hurt. He can't breathe, but he doesn't care. He needs to see his sons- Oh god where were his children?-

"Dad please!", A voice says and his whole body jolts as his eyes shoot open, scrambling to untangle himself from the covers as he eyes shoot around the room. He blinks rapidly to clear the blurriness from sleep and the tears away as he takes in his surroundings. He was in his bed. He was in his room at home. 

He sees Wilbur standing there, his worried eyes on him and lip wavering slightly. Oh dear. Did he make him upset?

"Wilbur..", He says and winces at how his voice croaks slightly. He must have been sobbing in his sleep. "Wilbur did I wake you up?...I'm sorry-"

Wilbur shakes his head, sitting next to him on the bed and suddenly hugging him. Phil tenses at the embrace for a second out of instinct before he wraps his arms around him and holds him tightly.

"Dadza..Are you ok?..", Wilbur uses the name him and his brothers had called him in childhood. He almost laughs and he's not sure if it's from the name or the question.

"I'm fine Wilbur..You can go back to sleep.", He says as he wipes his eyes. Wilbur smiles sadly. He was nearing adulthood now at 18, but Phil never wanted to place any heavy burdens on his son's backs. Especially when they had similar demons of their own. He kisses his son's forehead.

"Is it fine if I sleep here then?", Wilbur asks. If it's for his own sake or Phil's he doesn't say. 

"Sure.", Phil says either way.

He adjusts his position, scooting over and fixing his wings to relax on his back as Wilbur climbs under the covers with him. He recalls memories of Tommy, Wilbur, and Techno all piling under a fort they made with covers and pillows. The three of them loved to always drag their father into one once they were done. It usually ended up with the three asleep, right along with Phil. He closes his eyes.

"Goodnight Dadza.."

"Goodnight son."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading- (Honestly listened to Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift a lot while brainstorming this idea/writing ngl lol)


End file.
